When I am sick, and I'm taking NyQuil or Advil PM to help me sleep I have the weirdest dreams and I am so sad that I haven't blogged any of them from my deathbed this weekend, because they were strange.
Last night was woodsy themed.
It started out me in California driving from SF (Where Kolin currently lives) to Newark (where I grew up), but for some reason I wasn't getting it right. I kept driving back and forth on the highway, which was covered in trees like if you were driving further north in California, and I randomly saw Zach Drive. So I turned on it. Went to a house that belonged to a friend of mine from College, Zach Harris. And knocked and he wasn't home. So I called him, (I don't have his number anymore in my cell phone in real life), and asked him when he'd be home, he said after 5. I didn't want to wait, it was just a spur of the moment thing. So I drove on. And I remember feeling super confused about where I was going, there was no real point this was prob my first dream of the night.
This dream was like watching a movie.
The second dream, the one I kept trying to keep in my mind as I ran to my laptop to write it down was the movie like dream. I wasn't in it as myself, I was someone else, not sure who but I was in it not sitting on a couch watching it. But the weird thing was as the 'movie' was going I knew some of what was going to happen, like the tone and such.
So it was a group of grown soon-to-be-middle aged men. They were on some kind of camping trip. One was a doctor, a surgical doctor. I don't remember his name for for story telling's sake let us call his Jake. Jake and his buddies were out in the woods doing their thing when they heard a noise of in the darkness so they looked, because they thought they were alone.
So they get quiet and look and they eventually see a parked old bronco on the hill just a ways from where they were camping. They didn't know of anyone who lived out here and they were curious so they went to investigate.
They end up checking out the car and finding a house that they ended up going into and making home. They heard some rustling out side and went out on the patio and there was a high-school cheerleading squad in formation to begin a routine. So this Jake, (who kind of looks like Keifer Sutherland), gets a show. These girls look like misfits, uniforms were not matching, hair and make-up was obviously done individually, and the routine was amateur. After they stopped one girl, the obvious captain, spoke up and explained to Jake that they need his help to become the best for regionals. Even though he was a surgeon, not a cheerleading coach, he apparently was the one to go to in this town. And now that house they are in is now his, like he lives in it and his wife was suddenly there (Sorry). He walks through the rows of girls and sizes them up, and being a bit of an old man pervert as well. His wife shows her upset and stomps out because she knows that captain is up to no good, she knows she wants to sleep with her husband. Then after a few negotiations of price they come to a conclusion that he will coach them for $2,000 and they get nicer uniforms, he will not be connected to such a sloppy looking team. He tells the girls the patio is a prime place for practice and they throw a fit and grumble. So he gets the idea to create a stage in his new large backyard out of what looks like white picnic tables, but hey in dream-world that works.
Then as movie tend to do, you assume he has been working hard with the team and indeed he is getting closer to the captain, lets call her Tiff. So Jake ends up with a couple of his guy friends from the beginning and Tiff supposedly knows this really "awesome" hotel that she knows someone so that they can stay and party at for free, she knows a back way in and everything.
So as they are going through the back of this hotel his buddies are telling him they don't like the idea that a married man is hanging out with a high school girl. He shrugs them off and goes on ahead anyways. So they get to this "suite" and it looks terrible just the kind of hotel that backwoods trashy people would things is super nice. It has pinball machine and other classic arcade games but was trashed and really travel-lodgey decorated. As time goes the guys get uncomfortable and leave, they don't want to be there with their bet bud and a 17 yr old.
So now that they are alone she goes in for the kill. Right as she gets him naked she ties his down and leaves the room and comes back to the kitchen with a older man. They connect him to some kind of torture device and begin their torture. Jake, not having a clue what's going on, pleads them to stop and tell him what he has done wrong and who this man is. After electrocuting his for a while the older man reveals that he is Tiff's father, let's call him Stew. Jake apologizes that he was thinking about having an affair with his daughter and he will never touch her again. But that was not what Stew was looking for. He continued to torture him until Jake was breaking down. This seemed like a good time for a flashback, and just like a thriller movie, there was the confession from the "killer" paired with the awesome memories of the vengeful killer, Stew. He explained to Jake that he was the man that Jake accidentally removed his testicles in a surgery a few years ago. The surgery documents mis-stated his surgery and was not in for testicular removal but something else. But The paper's got switched or something and the wrong surgery was performed. When Stew came to in the hospital he was horrified about what happened. He felt like his life was taken away from him by this doctor. So he has been plotting his revenge for 3 years to take away his life like he did him. He was going to take his man berries.
The end.
